Hogies and Tigers and Dalmatians Oh My

Today is National Dog Day, which for our little family is sort-of like, well, any given Wednesday. At breakfast I asked Tim what we should do for Hogie and he shrugged. The dog already gets all the treats, all the toys and all the love but it’s a fair exchange because he gives us all the laughs.

Nothing Hogan McSmalls could do would surprise me. He’s used drawers as stairs, turned doorknobs he wasn’t supposed to be able to turn and, once, opened an un-openable dog food container that said it would ‘keep out any critter even bears’ using only his teeth and his willpower. There was the time he knocked out a window screen and stood on the roof barking at the neighbors for hours. Oooh, or the time he attacked a heating pad filled with rice, ate the raw rice and then rapid rice-pooped for a week. It came out sounding like this: pew pew pew pew. I mean, wowee, right?

Yesterday, however, I laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed at him before. I was talking on the phone to my mom while I walked Hogie. He’d just pooped so I was heading for a trash can to throw away the baggie when he yelped, jumped in the air and came down shaking, his tail between his legs. I tried to comfort him but he was too busy trying to run away. When I came around to the front of the trash container, I saw what had spooked him. Here ya go:


So, yeah. Man, I get it. Pretty terrifying stuff. Obviously I’ve been laughing about this ever since. I mean, poor Hogie! He thinks of himself as a tough dude. He’s just minding his own business and then BAM. Boozed up stuffed tiger. What’s a dog to do? I can’t even. But, there is precedence, of course. A few months back Hogie came face-to-face with one of the scariest creatures in all of Los Angeles. No, not Charlie Sheen, this dude:

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Hogie looks calm in the pic but trust me, he is playing it off. This was taken after he’d jumped, backed up and growled at the tiny plaster monster. For weeks after, he refused to walk in the direction of the scary Dalmatian but then it suddenly disappeared from our neighbor’s yard. I suspect Hogie snuck out in the middle of the night and took care of it and I don’t blame him.

So, I don’t know how we’ll celebrate National Dog Day but I do know it will not involve any creepy fake animals. Or roofs.

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