Breakfast Wars

My 6-year-old nephew is obsessed with two things: Star Wars and pancakes. He is also constantly asking “What if” questions. “Auntie Kendra, what if Hogie turned into a piece of toast?” “Uncle Tim, what if you turned into a really mean zombie?” So I guess it’s not that weird that over chocolate chip pancakes yesterday morning he posed this question:

What if Star Wars was all about breakfast?


The conversation then devolved into us yelling out breakfast-themed Star Wars characters and Jackson asking more questions like, “WHAT IF THE DEATH STAR WAS A BIG FLOATING DONUT?” We determined that Luke Skywaffles and Admiral Orange Juice had to find a way to destroy the big donut, the evil base of Darth Jelly.

Yoda lived in a swamp of oatmeal. Princess Leia, of course, wore bagels on the sides of her head. Instead of carbonite, Han is encased in waffles and eats his way out. Bacon Fett worked for Java the Hutt. But the thing that made the little dude laugh until he slid out of the booth is when he yelled, “R2-D2 is a big fat blueberry!”

I smiled to myself the rest of the day. A lot of us make the mistake of judging our wit and what makes us laugh. I once wrote an article I thought was hilarious and either no one read it or no one else thought it was as funny as I did. It really bothered me. Like, was I horrible? Was what made me laugh so far off the norm that I should just give up? But, you know, cracking yourself up is one of the best things that can happen in a day. I mean, aside from free booze or a hug from a pug or something like that. Whatever makes you laugh is awesome and everything else can just get the fuck out, you know?

Because R2-D2 is a big fat blueberry.

*space donut from unequalmeasures.

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