Just Eat It

You know that thing you do where you run into someone you know while you’re out and about and you’re like, “Hiiii, we need to happy hour/brunch/hit a yoga class soon!” but then you never do it? I always always mean it when I say it. I really mean, let’s go get drinks. I always actually want to brunch. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t say it. But it seems like something always happens and more often than not, we never get our brunch on and then I run into them again and we’re both like, ummm. Awkward.

The exact same thing happened with my no sugar October challenge. I meant it when I said I’d go all month without sugar. I really did. You guys have to believe me. It’s just that I accidentally cheated. Twice. Well, once was sort-of an accident and the other was more of a ‘screw it.’

The first cheat was around 12:30 a.m. on a Thursday night after we’d seen Garbage at The Greek. It was very hot. We had cocktails first then we walked up the hill to the show, drank room temp white wine (shudder) while watching Shirley Manson be ADORABLE and then walked all the way back down the hill. I was drunk and hot so I bought a red Gatorade at Albertsons and chugged it. Now, I think on some level I was aware that Gatorade had sugar but, look, that level was drunk. And hot. So, whatever. I can get behind this mistake. It seems like a minor offense. Not like I was shoving Snickers down my throat.

But then. Then Tim’s parents brought us back a bunch of really awesome stuff from their trip to Hawaii. Did I eat a brownie? No, of course not. Mochi? Nah, I know that’s sugary. But there were this little rice thingies with macadamia nuts in them. There was no nutritional info on the box so I didn’t know if they were sweet or not. They didn’t smell sweet. So, I ate one. While it wasn’t blatantly sweet, I could definitely detect a hint of something, like they’d used honey or something. So I shrugged. And I ate another one. At last count I think I ate seven in one day. In one sitting! Oops.

I don’t know how much of a cheat that was but I can’t blame it on heat or drunkenness or a mistake. I ate those things. I ate ’em hard.

That was early on and I haven’t cheated since then. I thought my cravings for chocolate and chai lattes would go away. I thought I might even possibly lose a pound or two. Neither of those things happened, I’m sorry to report. I’m craving candy so badly right now that I can only hope no children walk by me eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups today because I can’t be held responsible for my actions.

One positive thing, though, is that the nightmares went away. I haven’t had one since I quit sugar, no not even the night I chugged Gatorade or the night I ate all the Hawaiian rice thingies. Might be a placebo effect (I’m no stranger to a good placebo effect) or maybe sugar really was making my brain spazz out at night. Who knows? But, it’s been nice. Also, I think I’ve had more energy. Maybe. I DON’T KNOW I’M NOT AN ENERGY DOCTOR.

As of tomorrow, I get to eat sugar again. Plan is: iced chai latte in the morning and all the candy I can stand in the evening while we watch The Babadook. I’m ready! (See above pic and disregard the pepperoncinis, which are not sugar but are necessary.) And if I have nightmares, whatev. It’s Halloween. I like to participate.

Moral of the story: sugar is bad for you. And delicious.

Published by Kendra Alvey

I love Ewoks, books, dogs, Ewoks, cocktails, concerts and long walks on the Ewoks.

One thought on “Just Eat It

  1. People are always telling me they have more energy on their food plans. “We have so much more ENERGY now!” Somehow, that deters me–like ugh, I can’t deal with anymore energy. Loved the sentence about “I don’t know I’m not an energy doctor”—lololol. And we need to get drinks and or brunch. I mean it, too!

    Like

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